Video: Why We’re Unhappy – The Expectation Gap

Why are some of the world’s poorest people also the most happy? In this compelling TedX talk, Nat Ware – a Rhodes Scholar from Oxford University – offers some compelling insights illuminating some answers we can all learn from.

Three questions are posed to the audience as a reflective exercise. The first asks, hypothetically, which position they would like to finish in an Olympic Games race (first place is not an option). According to the research, most people would prefer to finish second. Yet the position which would, in fact, make us happiest is to finish third!

This case study serves as a microcosm of our wider situation as a species. We are wealthier than ever, but more depressed than ever. Our lives move faster than at any other time (e.g. air travel), yet we are faster to complain about delays. Why is this?

Nat Ware explains that the root cause is our expectations. We are unhappy when our expectations of reality exceed what actually happens (the “expectation gap”). These expectations are formed by our imaginations, our past, and our surroundings—such as those we know. All of this is exacerbated by technology, especially social media, which romanticises travel and other aspirations far beyond reality.

How can this battle between our perceptions and reality be resolved? One key step is to take our happiness and expectations seriously, and magazine editors, politicians and advertisers should do the same. For parents, this might involve telling children that certain things are impossible and not delving them with unrealistic expectations about their futures.

Overall, this TED Talk is a fascinating exploration of why humans make decisions and how the “expectation gap ” can undermine the ” thinking process”. We recommend watching it, in full, to discover more ways for you to bridge the gap between your feelings and reality.