What makes human beings truly happy? According to Drs. Waldinger and Schulz, the data is in. Drawing upon the world’s “longest scientific study of happiness”, the authors provide an answer based on their findings. They confirm what many philosophers and religious thinkers have long told us – that happiness lies primarily in our “interior” worlds, not our exterior environments.
The Good Life is a fascinating book detailing critical insights from the 80-year-long Harvard Study of Adult Development. The central finding is that the stronger our relationships are, the happier we tend to be. The study is a landmark due to its phenomenal duration (80 years), beginning in 1938 and continuing to the present day. Peter Fonagy, Professor of Psychoanalysis and Developmental Science at UCL (University College London), says:
“This is the most significant account of one of the most important studies in mental health, conducted and presented by the best clinician scientists in the field … this book offers unparalleled insight into our nature as people.”
Of course, human lives are diverse and complicated. Even people who describe their lives as “happy” may endure pain, upset, betrayal, grief and loss. Yet even if an individual is surrounded by difficult circumstances, he or she can not only survive but thrive if they have quality relationships to lean upon. For this reason, authors Waldinger and Schulz call relationships “the investment of a lifetime” and they keep us “healthier and happier. Period”.
At this stage, we might ask: “how do we build quality relationships?” Our life choices play a crucial role. Do we choose to cultivate high-quality relationships with others? Do we commit the time and energy needed to forge deep connections? Very few people enjoy quality relationships without making any effort. After all, prioritising and working on a friendship, family relationship or romantic relationship shows the other person that you care and value that person in your life. Without effort, what does that communicate?
A common reason that relationships suffer is self-focus. Putting your own needs and desires first, too often, can lead other people to withdraw. Waldinger and Schulz suggest taking small, initial steps to try and forge more human connections. Are you on a train sitting opposite a stranger? Why not strike up a conversation? If you are sitting in a coffee shop and it is not busy, why not be kind to a barista and say something encouraging? It is amazing how a simple, small act of kindness and outreach can produce a positive result – not only for the recipient but also for the initiator.
Overall, The Good Life is a great book – providing scientific “meat” to the bones of age-old wisdom, philosophy and ethical teaching that many of us know to be intuitively true. We commend it to you!
